Success Will Write Apocalypse Across the Sky - Subhuman Empire (2007)

Cost: $1.00

Had heard OF these guys but had not actually heard them, and everything I had heard about them was always in reference to one of two things.  Either their name was (rightfully) mocked, or the mention of them being the new band of some Bodies in the Gears of the Apparatus members. 

I was expecting some sort of metalcore drivel, but apart from the 2 humorously odd "The Proud American" interlude tracks, it's standard modern death/grind.  It's ok for what it is, but I didn't find it particularly interesting--I was just happy I hadn't thrown away my dollar.  Much like Job for a Cowboy, I'm not fond of their cutesy phrase name, as you expect the bands to be crap based on their unique but ultimately dumb sounding names.  As is the case here, the band names end up being more inventive than the music itself.

Blood Everywhere - Left for Dead (1996)

Cost: $1.00

This CD is available for trade.

This looked like it could go any number of ways musically, and I ended up taking a chance on it because there were three longhairs in the band.   

...And it's a miss.

It's groovy heavy rock (think less grungy Alice in Chains).  As if they wanted to decrease my interest even more, every single song has a section set aside, be it part of the chorus or a moshy part, where they throw in a short "aggressive" part with the ultra-forced, pissed-off aggro vocals.  I don't know how much appeal they'd even have to those more tolerant of the groovy modern metal trends that began in the '90s, as the music here really isn't metal.

Aeon Zen - The Face of the Unknown (2010)

Cost: $1.00

Each time I go to one particular CD shop, there's usually a single progressive metal CD of some sort in the bargain bin.  Whether I'm getting a stack of discs or just the one, the trend has kept up pretty regularly for a couple of years now, and this is one of the more recent finds.

Aeon Zen is essentially a solo project (one Rich Hinks plays all the instruments on the album, and is helped out by several guest vocalists).  Especially considering that, the music is rather layered and complex, and I think it easily holds it own against many prog. metal bands with full lineups.  So I'm not going to pretend that on a musical or compositional level this isn't impressive stuff.  The music is well-balanced for the most part, and never really goes off onto any unpleasant modern or strange tangents.  Things do get very melodic ala Dream Theater at times, but it's still very much a progressive METAL album, and there was enough heaviness to satisfy me.

Using guest vocalists was probably a good choice, as I thought the last four songs had the worst vocals (coincidentally these are the vocals with stronger English accents), and two of these have Rich himself singing.  His voice isn't terrible, but it's rather plain and better suited to busking than to progressive metal (I noticed there seem to be more prominent effects added to his own vocals compared to the other singers, too).  The other two are handled by Jonny Tatum of bands Timefall and Eumeria.  Again, it doesn't sound like he's an awful vocalist--he's better than Rich, at least, but his singing just didn't seem to be the best fit for the songs.

I can appreciate what's being done here, but that said, I'm not a huge, huge fan of most progressive metal.  This is not an album that changes my stance.

Punk Goes Metal compilation (2000)

Cost: $1.00

One of these.  Oh, goody.  Apparently the definition of metal here includes hair bands and hard rock:

1. Divit - Breakin' the Law (Judas Priest)

They wrote it as "breakin'," not me.  Music is pretty good even though they take some liberties with the song.  Vocals are kind of weak.

2. Jughead's Revenge - Talk Dirty To Me (Poison)

Vocals are relatively clean.  Would have been interesting to seen this done with snotty punk vocals.  Pretty straightforward, but lacks the glammy sleaze and fun of the original.

3. AFI - My Michelle (Guns N' Roses)

Lacks the grit and rawness of the original, both musically and (especially) vocally.

4. Bigwig - War Ensemble (Slayer)

Actually very good!  Apart from a diversion in the middle, they play it pretty straight up.

5. A New Found Glory - Heaven Isn't To Far Away (Warrant)

Again, their spelling error, not mine.  Pop-punk version that's at least a change of pace from the sappy original.

6. Strung Out - Bark At The Moon (Ozzy Osbourne)

Okay as a punkier version.

7. The Ataris - I Remember You (Skid Row)

Again, while I don't necessarily like it, the original is so overplayed and cheesy at this point, this pop-punk take on it at least gives it some freshness.

8. Link 80 - Harvester Of Sorrow (Metallica) 

The main deviations from the original are a horn section, and the sections under the verses are sped up.  Decent overall.

9. Guttermouth - Sexual Abuse (St. Madness)

Super obscure compared to the other songs (also very new--I think it was only a couple years old at this point as the album the original song is on came out in '98).  The original song isn't anything to get excited about, but the cover is well-done, the most faithful cover version on here.

10. Dynamite Boy - TNT (AC/DC)

Singer doesn't sound and doesn't attempt to sound like Bon Scott, but excellent, energetic cover.

11. Death By Stereo - Little Fighter (White Lion)

Had to look up and listen to the original since I was only familiar with "Wait" and "When the Children Cry."  Don't like the song, but as a cover it's pretty good and done straight up.

12. Swindle - Youth Gone Wild (Skid Row)

This is both the most punk-sounding song on the album and also the cover most altered from the original...It was hard for me to recognize other than the chorus.  Not bad at all for what it is.  Especially given the lyrics, if you had no knowledge of Skid Row, you could easily mistake it for being an actual punk song.

13. Turnedown - I Don't Know (Ozzy Osbourne)

A more faithful cover than "Bark at the Moon" (and comes off as being a bit better).  They even try to emulate the Ozzy vocals a bit.

14. Diesel Boy - Looks That Kill (Mötley Crüe)

Very good cover.  I've heard versions by metal bands, '80s glam cover bands, and Crüe tribute bands, and this is probably the best regular cover version of it I've heard (I say regular because I love Oppressor's death metal take on it).

15. Rx Bandits - Holy Wars (Megadeth)

I was a bit surprised at how well they did the intro.  Musically it's a great cover, though the vocals detract from things as the style isn't right at all for thrash.  There's a subtle horn section and they throw a reggae-like groove into the slow part of "The Punishment Due."

16. Ten Foot Pole - Love Song (Tesla)

Done as a fast punk number.  The change doesn't seem quite as radical as with Swindle's cover since I could easily recognize the chorus melody.  Other than the novelty factor of the first listen, didn't really like the cover.

17. The Aquabats - Why Rock?

This is credited to "Leather Pirate," but it's just an original faux-rock song.  At first I was pretty neutral about it since the main riff was alright, but the parody went on far too long so they could throw in over the top epic bits and spoken word.  

Overall, not quite as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Scrotum Grinder - The Greatest Sonic Abomination Ever (2001)

Cost: $1.00

At first the band name on the spine caused me to pull this out for a better look.  Sounds like a goregrind band name, right?  The cover and layout looked more like some sort of extreme industrial or experimental music, but I still ended up buying it as trade fodder.  Than I poke around online and it's often described as grindcore.  Uh, not quite.  Hardcore here, somewhat discordant at times, but not all that extreme as far as hardcore goes.

The main vocals are from a chick--it sounds less like she's pissed off and more like she's trying to shout herself hoarse.  The last listed track is a slightly oddball cover of Slapshot's "No Friend of Mine" where they substitute a kazoo for the chorus...Yeah.  There's also a hidden track which is just a cacophony of noise, and that track actually DOES sound like actual grindcore.  I actually would have preferred if the whole album was of that kind of stuff, because then at least I could appreciate the album somewhat for its extremity.

I'm not gonna mark this one as being up for trade, but if you're interested in swapping for it, I probably would do so.  The only reason I hesitate is due to side-project reasoning...the bassist/co-vocalist here played bass on Assück's Misery Index.  And no, before you ask, there's not a trace of that sound here.

Spawn - Round 2 (1998)

Cost: $1.00

Date: Feb. 14, 2013

At first, the logo and Ripper Owens production credit got me excited about this...I thought it was going to be an obscure indie power metal or heavy metal band.  But it's very disappointing, as it goes down the '90s groove metal path.  About the only nice things I can say about it are a) the vocals aren't ultra-forced (I still don't like them though), and b) it's occasionally not too bad musically.

The cover is different from the one I see elsewhere online (hence no thumbnail).  It's a b/w picture of two boxers.  Since there's no label info, this may have been the first pressing done independently.

Scanner Vs. Signs Ov Chaos (1997)

Cost: $1.00

This CD is available for trade.

Bought this as trade fodder only.  You can tell just by looking at the cover this isn't anything metal, but I thought I'd do a quick post as a warning since this was released on Earache.

Both acts are solo techno projects.  At first, it seems that Signs Ov Chaos is harsher, with a more industrialized, experimental feel and heavy use of spoken word samples, while Scanner is more ambient influenced.  But then on each of their last tracks they flip-flop those characteristics to some extent.  

Not my cup of tea, but I chuckled at the Signs Ov Chaos tune "Michael Jackson," which consists of distorted samples of the King of Pop's name being spoken put to upbeat techno.  Scanner also does a "Michael Jackson" track with the same kind of general concept, but I didn't find it as absurdly humorous.